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Let’s be clear, even with our withdrawal “strategy” from Afghanistan and Iraq, we are still very much in the middle of a war. The attackers: righteous conservatives. The weapons: misguided legislation. The victims: everyone with a set of boobies.

Back in elementary school, I remember playing a curious computer game where a player’s wits were challenged against those of an international woman of intrigue – a woman who by all accounts, outsmarted every law man, every godfather don, and every thieving foe she came across. And in doing so, she garnered a notable (albeit reluctant) respect from all of them. As fantastical as it was within the scheming [not so] make-believe world of global espionage, Carmen Sandiego helped set the bar for what women can do on a planet where men rule. At least she did that for me.

It seems that most recently, with all the political limelight on women’s health issues like banning contraception (since population control is of course no longer a problem) and requiring pre-abortion vaginal probes (which sounds eerily like what aliens impose on the abducted citizens of the mid-west), it’s no wonder that the role of women in the 21st century should also be examined with the same gusto. Sadly, this subject is usually viewed in one of the limiting two ways:

1) through the biased and often ignorant eyes of a male dominated society (ex. all-male panel testifies before a congressional hearing on the right to allow employers to deny insurance coverage of contraception for their female employees – which clearly makes total sense); or

2) through what would be construed as the ultra-feminist perspective – where the pro-woman/anti-man sentiment gets inevitably plastered on a bumper sticker and chants of “I am woman, hear me roar!” get hurled left and right. Who are we kidding; it’s mostly left.

Still, amid the penis-enthusiasts’ attempts to take our nation’s progress back a century, there are strides being made to bring the message of women’s issues to the fore-front of social discussion without being so callously tied to either of the above mantras. Though I’m still anxiously waiting for the next true Million-Woman March to plow through Washington (or perhaps ‘The W.O.W. Walk’ is more catchy?) I realize that this war is more global and far-reaching than just our apple pie-loving shores. While female ethical leaders like Burma’s Aung San Suu Kyi are fighting for women’s rights – and the rights of ALL her people for that matter – it’s a wonder that there are others, like former First Lady of Egypt Suzanne Mubarek [dubbed the 'Mean Queen'] who are using their powerful positions to maintain corruption within their failing existing systems. Even Asma al-Assad, the wife of [who is now considered] Syria’s ruthless President Bashar al-Assad, has taken a back-seat role; setting aside her initial portrayal of a strong-willed, Western-loved democratic female mind, and replacing it with that of the ever-obedient Middle Eastern wife. As a woman in a position of power – a position to make a difference in the lives (and well-being) of her people – al-Assad is an example of one who has chosen to recede into the shadows and turn her cheek as Syrian civilians, including women and children, mercilessly suffer.

And so, the remarkable women who are leading the world in advancing justice for the female are fighting an uphill battle for sure: against men of power that wish to hold the heads of women submerged beneath the freezing water of inequality, and against the women who are not only content in their subordinate positions, but who desperately desire to maintain it as a sense of security.

Just yesterday, April 28th, UniteWomen.org,  supported by non-profit organizations, rallied a series of marches throughout the country and garnered some much-needed grassroots media momentum for this War on Women. A focused, energized base of those who oppose the retractive direction women’s liberties are heading spoke loud and very clear. With a collectively vocalized power, it made a good-sized dent into the broken-down Vega that the GOP are haphazardly clucking down the road to gain the women’s vote. So there’s at least that.

Other campaigns like the annual 3-day Women In The World Summit, an international conference hosted by Newsweek & The Daily Beast, also serve as a beacon of hope within this frustrating crusade. It has emerged as a potent assembly focusing on women who live in between the news; ones who are taking extremely productive initiatives to make changes in the lives of women everywhere — and oftentimes under peril circumstances. This summit celebrates 150 specific global leaders who have proven unflinching in their pursuit of gender equality, and offers a platform to voice their stories and solutions to the public. Commencing each year on March 8th, International Women’s Day, the worldwide televised event (on TheDailyBeast.com) has become an avenue for riding the wave that attempts to maneuver between those two presentation perspectives I spoke on earlier. Though certainly a valiant effort, it begs the question: what exactly – or who – are we fighting? And what are we trying to ultimately and specifically accomplish?

With the advent of the Arab Spring and other uprisings occurring around the world, voices of the oppressed are collectively gaining amplification. What other countries are struggling with in the vein of not just women’s rights but the basic rights of all human beings, we as Americans sadly take for granted – which is precisely why we can not revert back to the bridled suffocation the current neo-conservative movement is trying to place upon us. Newsweek’s Editor-in-Chief Tina Brown thoughtfully wrote:

“It is ironic that American women now need to be fortified by the inspiration of the women of the Arab Spring, who risked so much to win basic human rights.”

There is no doubt that the efforts of women in US history have been wrought with suffering and pain as our freedoms have come at an incredibly dear price. As women are fighting for their rights and aim for their voices to be heard in countries abroad – countries with no where near the sophisticated system of pseudo-democracy in place as we enjoy here – our fight is seemingly weakening; turning its cheek to take another hearty slap and claim “we fell down the stairs”.

If women aren’t in positions to make policy changes and influence legislature, there is no wonder the gender gap is not closing nearly as fast as it should be. A rather harrowing statistic comes again from Newsweek, who have found that America ranks 71st behind Bangladesh, Sudan and United Arab Emirates in female legislative representation worldwide. Additionally, according to Ranking America, the US ranks 60th in women’s participation in the workplace. (Burandi ranks #1. How many people in the US would even know where Burandi was on the map is another sad statistic, but I digress.) Even though young women now earn more college and graduate degrees than men do, they soon fall behind professionally, especially when vying for positions within management. One of my journalistic idols, Rachel Maddow, recently spoke on this particular issue on Meet The Press (watch the interview here). Explaining – and being constantly interrupted while doing so – that presently, American women working full time earn 77% of what men do, Maddow boldly combated [what appears to be] the Republican notion that women simply are not equal to men, in capacity, performance or intellect. What’s discouraging is with all the statistics, all the stories of trials and triumphs in the lives of women around the world – again, for even the most basic of women’s rights – Americans are still gluttons for taking advantage of our current freedoms. So much so, that those very freedoms are at risk of being snagged out from under us faster than we’d even know it.

My questions are simple: Where are our internationally influential women? Angelina Jolie? Who are our powerful female leaders? Oprah? What forceful representatives do American women have on their side? Elizabeth Warren*? (*Although I do commend her efforts on many social philosophical fronts) Come on, people. Compared to the unbelievable display of strength and perseverance put forth by other women of the world (the 150 honored by the WIW Summit for example) our ‘leaders’ don’t even come close.

To explain this seemingly harsh statement further: Although females who’ve led the way in the War on Women within other countries have had to struggle within systems that are fatally unfair, I’m certainly not saying that their strength and efforts are of a higher value than that of the women in our own country. Or that simply because the political and social corruption of the infrastructure within which they must operate makes the pain endured by them for the sake of women’s rights more precious than that of US women. What I am saying is that we [fortunately] have a system in place where compared to other countries, the status quo can much more easily be challenged – without the real threat of being gunned down for voicing opposition. [not counting the South's backwoods. Kidding! Kind of.] That threat indeed exists elsewhere, and so that fact alone should shed a bit of clarity upon our present WOW. (As the 2nd time I’ve dropped this, I can only imagine the multiple uses for that acronym if it were actually introduced. I take full responsibility). This clarity should invariably produce more effectively potent women leaders; leaders who can truly pave the way for actual change to occur.

Since 50.8% of the US population is female (2010 US Census Bureau finding), there really is no valid reason why women shouldn’t make up 1/2 the Supreme Court, 1/2 of the House and Senate and 1/2 of basically everything else. What we need are leaders; ones who will actually play the kind of hard ball that the fearless women of other, much more oppressed countries are courageously becoming star-hitters at. For example, while the fight by the GOP right against Planned Parenthood has produced some notable leaders, stepping out to support and keep alive the almost 50-year old program, I still believe that 2 more things are needed:

1) more aggressive women in positions of higher government to make a real legislative difference, and 2) the united voice of all American women, heard as that of the new age female leader.

We need the kind of leadership that unites; it’s the only way to make tangible change – which, let’s face it, is still quite a ways away at this rate, even for a supposed ‘advanced’ country/society as ourselves. Hawkish politics has always worked for men, why not utilize that same methodology for our female government? Steering through the male mist of policy-making will take a special set of goggles, but I believe Google is working on those. Until then, using the currently available technological resources to socially unify, instantaneously organize and most importantly focus on navigating through the present system, we can actually challenge it – and transform average citizens’ demands into true manifested action. The War On Women is simultaneously the newest craze in political crusades and one of the oldest battles still being fought, but Carmen Sandiego is still running around in this world. As a child, I enjoyed trying to find her amid a sea of powerful men; as a young woman, I realize finding her is the only way my own kids will truly know equality.

With so much talk lately about the rioting and unrest in the Middle East and North Africa – myself doing some of this talking – it occurred to me that something was missing from the discussion: what the impact of the fashion world had on this turbulent area. I know what you’re thinking: sounds a little out of place in the serious shroud that usually accompanies political and social upheaval – kind of like that dirty blue blanket Charlie Brown‘s pal Linus is always clutching. But in truth, it’s a cultural element that can arguably be one of the most telling of its surroundings, and should be rightly explored as a contributor in reshaping this troubled region. After all, without fashion wouldn’t we just be sporting our birthday suits and fig leaves?

The Arab Spring‘s springboard (pardon the pun, I just had to) originated in Tunisia; so when the 3rd annual Tunis Fashion Week was scheduled to take place, to the surprise of many – and to play into my use of the cliché – the show actually did go on. Even in the midst of democratic protests and tons of governmental red tape, it was a chance for designers, consumers and admirers to celebrate their culture’s rich history in textiles and reinvigorate its next chapter, as the Arab Spring seemed to be doing for the people.

It was a risky move; because as the uprisings were [and still are] reshaping the political and social landscape of the Mid-East and Africa, the fashion world is struggling to tell its own story: one of reclamation and resurgence.

It might seem like colorful garments and shiny accessories would be the furthest thing from anyone’s mind during such a time of distress [unless you count fashion therapy as a legitimate treatment, which I personally do]. But it does stand to reason that this particular art form has uniquely weaved itself into the very fabric of the culture; enveloping its people both figuratively and literally with an identity that undeniably distinguishes itself from the rest of the world.  And in times like these, a unifying identity is a necessity. Not unlike the oversized team jerseys, #1 foam fingers or cheese-wedge hats that magically unite thousands of total strangers in American sports arenas. Ok, maybe just a little different.

The Artsy Side:

The Tunis Fashion Week was an opportunity to honor a society that’s been creatively restrained for much of its history. At the dawn of the Arab Spring, an era of expressive personal suppression - mostly from religious fundamentalists – was showing signs of coming to an end, and the Fashion World was vying for its turn to rediscover itself. Designers came correct; presenting innovative ways to intermarry modernity with a traditional streak tying back to the roots of the people. ABCB, a line by Amine Bendriouich, a Berlin-based Moroccan designer, referenced the religious element in its inception, providing commentary on the conservative essence that had so far reigned all of Tunisia. Fares Cherait, Salah Barka and Baligh Mecky were among many budding designers that graced the runway with frocks that spoke to a newfound artistry. It is this artistry that’s promising to emerge full-force: as an opportunity for self-expression and women’s empowerment to take hold within the generally suppressed culture. The freshness is catching on, not just with the young progressives, but with older generations that are surfacing from the traditional shadows and – slowly but surely – embracing a more liberated face of change. The real miracle is how fashion isn’t just surviving, but somehow actually flourishing in Tunisia (and other Middle Eastern areas); owing much to the onset of luxury lines’ accessibility to the average consumer. To many people in the region, the sophistication of brand names and fine apparel has become more about the sheer pleasure of donning such refined garments rather than just a mere symbol of status. “Feeling like a million bucks” is not just something Westerners could say anymore.

Through some kind of social osmosis, the people’s hope appears to have seeped into the psyche of fashion designers, whose general sentiment is that of optimism. Dina Said, 30, considers herself one of the first designers to present a fully Egyptian-made ready-to-wear line at London Fashion Week. In an interview with Egyptian blogger Nadine Sabry, Said says, “In the forties and fifties, fashion used to come out of here. It was a center of high fashion, with beautiful things being made here. I hope we get back to a time like that.” And it certainly seems like the Arab Spring has awakened that yearning: the “Ana Masry” (“I am Egyptian”) movement has already spawn bracelets, t-shirts and a plethora of various apparel and paraphernalia calling on people to unite under their Egyptian nationality – buying Egyptian products and clothing while they were at it. We in the US call that a two-fer.

               

(Images above, from left: Fares Cherait, Salah Barka, Baligh Mecky)

The Not-So-Artsy Side:

Of course with the pros, there must be the cons. The appearance of celebrated artistic freedom is being countered by the [continued] persecution of designers that go against the grain in some of the stricter nations. This past November, 70 fashion designers were arrested in Iran for organizing shows. In Saudi Arabia, where the king just recently permitted women to vote, they still face restrictions on what they can wear, and when. What’s more, as the suppressed people are chanting for reform and liberation, the capitalist mantra that so many have been programmed to resist as infidelian methodology (just made that up), is vibrantly emerging. Despite the Anti-West ideology that the extreme Islamic right clutches onto, gigantic super malls are sprouting up among the societal discord. Chains of clothing stores and hoards of international companies are profiting from this dynamic anarchy. The Chalhoub Group, partners with brands like Fendi, Chanel and Saks Fifth Avenue, is just one of many luxury brands’ marketer that plans to expand past its 115 stores in the UAE. Expected to grow 10% next year, the Middle East’s luxury fashion industry – an estimated $5.7 billion in 2010 – is predicted to double in some Mid-East markets over the course of five years. While more of these brands are becoming increasingly attainable by greater numbers of the public, the elite still weilds the power to maintain a class divide; one of the things that the Arab Spring’s original platform strove to breakdown. However, with so many people still out of work, the region’s economy in disorder, and the future of living standards for many uncertain, growth of the fashion industry could very well be a potent injection in the arm of the region. Jobs stemming from the capitalist initiative of America-sized malls and mass produced clothing could possibly help cast a non-oil based surge into the economy.

So as the Middle East and North Africa navigate through the uncertain times ahead, the fashion world seems to be part of this new story-telling; where cultures’ identities are being simultaneously remembered and created – and in both instances, celebrated. A look ahead – with fresh takes on progressive, modern expressions – is being explored by looking back – at tradition, history and heritage; and fashion takes on the critical role it should be honored for: the people’s mirror.

                                                            

Related Articles:

As an avid reader of the New York Times (especially the Opinion section – surprise, surprise), I came across this article and couldn’t help but re-post it here:

Limbaugh and One-Way Wantonness – NYTimes.com.

Frank Bruni eloquently delivers an in-your-face retaliation to Rush Limbaugh‘s uninventively low-brow assailment on not just Sandra Fluke, but women in general. And in doing so, brings to light a great disparity to how men are bashed in the media versus how it’s done to those with boobs.

Suffice to say that as a proponent and advocate of all forms of free speech, I found this particular take on Loathsome Limbaugh’s comments an enlightening one. Enjoy ~

Be sure to check out the following piece just posted on Newsweek’s online portal, The Daily Beast (thedailybeast.com) – it outlines what artists are grappling with in terms of censorship [and therefore, an uncertainty about creative right to expression] in a post-Mubarak Egypt:

Egypt’s Artists Fear Censorship by Islamists

Also be sure to follow me on Twitter to catch all my latest findings on things Mid-East, Far-East and how the West Is Winning: @2worlds1eye

As I flip through the over-glossed pages of my magazines, shuffle the varied tunes on my iPod and scroll through the list of my DVR‘d shows (admittedly, most of them are guilty pleasures), it hits me like an excessively violent stroke of Picasso‘s brush: Art is a curious and glorious thing. It can be used to make a statement, raise awareness, spark conversation or controversy. It’s universally regarded in every culture and community as a means for expression – and whether it’s suppressed or encouraged, it always exists in some form or another. Hell, there’s even those who will argue that Mike Tyson‘s inked face constitutes a fine and classy example of it.

In the US, art doesn’t necessarily have to be associated with the surrounding political, social or religious atmosphere; and while there are plenty of expressions that align with and demonstrate a particular stance on the related culture, it still generally finds itself independent of such constraints. Which definitely explains how “Drunk Girls In Da Club” became a number one hit.

Egypt’s art, however – from films to music, books to television- has always managed to precisely reflect the pulse of its people. Up until the January 25th revolution, that pulse was more like a series of heart attacks; lending itself to songs, films and books that were plugged directly into the Egyptian psyche like Dr. Frankenstein’s lobotomy prep. The momentum of the uprising was immeasurable, but Egypt’s art world was doing it’s damnedest to capture it, and more importantly, to promptly deliver it to the people with the excited rush that comes with such revolutionary change.

Before Spring, Must Come … Answers?

Before the Arab Spring, movies, music and magazines became intimately intertwined into the Egyptian sub-culture, even going so far as being referenced in daily speech. The popular 1997 song “Kamanana” by Mohamed Fouad became so successful that the word – which literally means nothing – somehow became synonymous with the word “everything” (Egyptians now use the word often in daily slang). There’s even a cosmetic store in a Cairo mall actually called Kamanana – I’m guessing since Cleo’s MakeUp Shack was probably already taken. So, even amidst the turmoil and strife of the corrupt Mubarak regime, artists still found themselves able to connect with the people, and create relatable, palpable material for Egyptian society to enjoy.

In this way, the pre-revolutionary expression of Egyptian art was one of answers, where a beginning, middle and end was established in films, books and songs that lucidly revealed the people’s mindset of the moment. Now, there is such an uncertainty to where the country is going, artists are finding the inspiration isn’t flowing so freely. A writer’s block of sorts is surfacing amongst artists, where once easily emerging creativity isn’t being produced with the same fervor as it once was.

Finding An Open Chair Once the Music Stops

As opposed to the US and the West in general, where confusion and uncertainty themselves can be potent catalysts found within the heart of the art*, Egypt is now struggling to find its artistic identity post-Mubarak era. It seems that the “magic” of the revolution has dispelled – and what’s left behind is a list of unsavory words that Egypt’s artists are straining to incorporate into their creations. Turmoil, bloodshed, unrest, the compromising of women’s safety and general miscommunication are all found on that list, replacing words like change, hope and progress as inspirations to create fresh forms of expression. Even established artists and performers who participated in creating art pre-revolution (and during for that matter) are finding themselves challenged to grasp the elusive “pulse” that once pounded so steadily and clearly within Egyptian culture.

It appears that for Egyptian artists right now, the concepts of change, of hope and of progress are easier to use as muses than are those of unpredictability, disquiet and turbulence. Before and during the uprising, there was a clamor from all artistic realms to support the protests and excite the popular mindset into a frenzied mutiny for change. Street graffiti showcased statements of rebellion, while gallery exhibits in museums displayed past revolutionary art. It seemed everyone was riding the fantastical wave of dissent, and the tides were heartily flowing with plenty of inspiration to help plug art into Egyptian life and Egyptian life into its art.

The critically acclaimed short film Interior/Exterior by Tamer Habib, starring the celebrated Egyptian actress Yousra explores a middle-aged couple’s participation with the Tahir Square crowds – but that was before the revolution ended and the dust settled. Both Habib and Yousra claim to now be taking a break from any projects having to do with the revolution, and have reportedly distanced themselves from any works involving the subject matter.

The protest movement’s most popular song was written by the little known guitarist Ramy Essam, who also composed a series of chants and lines for the crowds to wail in the middle of the square. Now, with the unified assembly of men and women dissipating, the square is becoming a place of violence and hostility, and those chants are no longer the people’s calls to arms.

Published on January 17th, 2011, immediately before the start of the Tahir Square rebellion, Revolution 2.0, by Wael Ghonim chronicles the memoirs of the then-unknown Google geek who’s Facebook page helped energize the Jan. 25th protests and who was released from 11 days of interrogation by the secret police thanks to a public outcry for his freedom. That public’s adoration was due to Ghonim’s invigorating revolutionary charisma. With no clear leader to coalesce the masses in transition from upheaval to peaceful order, it seems – at the moment – like Revolution 3.0 doesn’t stand much of a chance to be pitched as a sequel.

Even dissident veteran singer Mohamed Mounir, considered by many to be the “Voice of Egypt”, is having trouble with the composition of his upcoming album. The songs don’t seem to come easily, he claims, as each day brings with it another point of view of what should be done, and another question about what lays ahead for Egypt. “How can we in the middle of the revolution sing and dance?” Mounir poses, revealing further how engrained and in tune many Egyptian artists seem to be with their people. “The true artist is the one who sees further than the people see,” he also claims – but it is precisely this philosophy that most artists are grappling with, and what could essentially be the only way to emerge from the uncertain storm that has strangled Egypt’s artistic life-force.

What Will Egypt Paint On Its Newly Blank Canvas?

Despite the [hopefully] temporary choke-hold on Egypt’s artistic realm, there are still those who are determined to trudge through the uncertain times ahead – even through experimental measures – and emerge creatively triumphant for it. Yousry Nasrallah, easily regarded as one of the country’s most revered directors, is countering the confusion by happily tapping directly into it. He’s shooting his next fictional film project and centralizing it around the revolution. But what makes this a unique venture in Egyptian filmmaking is that he’s doing it without a script; basically recording footage as he writes, and writing as he’s recording. The method sounds similar to shooting a documentary – which is a genre that’s creating international appeal – but what Nasrallah is proposing seems to be a fused creation that would be a new art form for a new Egypt. And what better way to rise from the ashes, then to allow the phoenix to fly, uninhibited.

If the West can offer anything to the uncertain course of re-birth that has enveloped Egypt, it should be that of the emergence of a reinvigorated artistic movement; one that values and capitalizes on the strength (and potency) of rebellion. It is precisely this energy that initially gathered the masses under the flag of change, and – if thoughtfully re-imagined and re-invented – can be exactly what unifies the people to transform hope for change into attainment of change.

*Recent US examples of both fiction and non-fiction works on film where political or social uncertainty are the underlying elements of the art:
Films: V for Vendetta; Fahrenheit 9/11; An Inconvenient Truth; Avatar; Inside Job; Waiting For Superman; Wall Street
Music: ‘Meglomanic’, by Incubus; ‘Do The Revolution’, by Pearl Jam; ‘Union’ by Black Eyed Peas; ‘Information’ by Dredg
Books: ‘Revolution and Revolutionary Moments’ by James Defranzo; ‘Waking Up Strange: Let’s Start A Revolution!’ by Christopher Rothlem
 

STREET ART: Graffiti on Cairo's walls (Getty Images)

Returning from a brief hiatus filled with desserts galore, serious jet-lag and tinsel still being found in the darndest places – and on the heels of the GOP’s gag-reel of exemplary family standards – I give you the first post of the year:

I don’t know how they do it, but – in addition to convincing us to buy Kindles because actual books are so 2010 – I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that the holidays don’t also cleverly manage to evoke an endearing common theme: the importance of family.

As the season recently graced us with its jingle-belled presence, accompanied by rowdy shindigs and visits from rarely seen relatives whose side of the family no one can quite pin-point, I found myself continually contemplating the familial structure; struggling to reconcile its composition here [in most US homes] to how numerous families are setup throughout the Mid-East.

On the surface, it seemed to be a rather mundane concept to devote so much thought to. I blamed it on the eggnog. But still, I couldn’t shake the need to outline what the essential difference was between the ‘spirit of family’ in the East versus the West. Of course families differ according to environment, history and – as evidenced byJon & Kate Plus 8 – chromosomes. But this holiday season, something in particular kept punching me in the face, forcing me to acknowledge it and commanding me to dig deeper for a comprehensive understanding of what made our worlds so distinct. It was the simple, blatant (and from the throbbing pain on my face, apparently violent) fact: this is the worst economic time the US has known in its last 80 years.* With all the Occupy Movements that took place throughout the country in 2011, coupled with countless lay-offs of skilled workers (including many of my college-educated colleagues), I could not shake the disheartening perception that my generation is the first in a long, rich American history that is collectively doing worse than its predecessor. I wondered if this was a global phenomenon, and if this sad reality actually brought to light how the notion of family was yet another stark difference between two worlds.

As I observed how my family (here and out East) consisted of my parents, several levels of aunts, uncles, cousins and all the once-removed, second-tier variations that couldn’t quite be categorized, I compared it to the family anatomies that exist most commonly throughout the West. The structures themselves don’t vary all that much; as divorce and remarriage have become so prevalent in America and abroad. Even in many conservative Islamic and Arab countries, where divorce was once [only barely] socially acceptable in extreme cases of domestic violence, it’s now occurring more frequently and without the kind of public disgrace that formerly accompanied it. I think I speak for us all when I offer up a hearty “Thanks” to Kim Kardashian and ‘The Housewives of (Fill-In-The-Blank-With-Any-Major-US-City)’ for contributing to that trend.

Since the fundamental composition in family structures wasn’t all that different, what was it that was sparking my interest? Then it hit me. Kind of like that punch in the face I spoke about earlier..which explains my other black eye. I tell people I was in a bar brawl to make it sound cool, but admittedly it was this: the idea that so many American young adults in my generation were raised – and therefore expected – to immediately leave home upon turning the ripe old age of 18. This methodology in child-rearing simply doesn’t exist in the common Middle Eastern family mentality. Children there are conversely expected to stay with their parents until marriage (in most cases) or a significant promotion upwards in their career status. Many times even after one or both of those events occur, the choice to stay with their parents does not get passed up without serious thought as to economic and logistic plausibility. It seems that parents in the US – in this case, the current babyboomer-esque population – are in quite the hurry to scoot their kids along to adulthood, ill-prepared or not, and regardless of the the surrounding fiscal atmosphere, so that they may regain the critically lost 18 years that their Harley-Davidson dreams had to be put on hold.

I know that sounds harsh, but I realized that this was the case almost without exception for most of my friends. The topic of living at home was always greeted with such predictable disdain whenever it was brought up in conversation. “Live at home? Are you crazy?!” was the common line likely delivered by anyone who didn’t want to be subjected to the reputational torment that accompanied living with your parents. But as I pondered this notion, and the swelling in my face went down, the sad truth inched its way into my psyche: it may not be so much the children that don’t want this kind of continued familial support throughout their young adulthood – it may be more so the parents who don’t want to give it.

In these times of economic uncertainty and serious instability, I spoke with many people my age who found themselves unemployed and struggling. Many of them had to find ways to survive that were barely legal (thankfully, no one was out on a street corner in fish nets…yet.) Some were able to head back home, finding support among their families, but they were very few and far between. Those that could were almost all second generation immigrants, whose parents came to the US as adults from other countries with similar family mentalities as those in the East. It appeared that indeed, so many American families were apparently set up for an assembly line-like processing; where children were exited from the household to acclimate within a society soon after turning 18 (and in some cases, even earlier).

For these parents, their mentality of a ‘reclamation of youth’ appears to be directly related with the actuality of two things: a longer life span and the opportunity for an active lifestyle well into the latter half of that life span. Does the West talk itself into thinking that it’s “good for the children” to get out in the world and stay out in that world – no matter what it deals them – in order to rationalize a selfish mindset of wanting more out of its own later adulthood? And really, is that so bad?

In examining Eastern families – and Mid-East in particular – the familial philosophy that continues to emerge as the common thread is that physical bonds translate into emotional and spiritual ones. The longer the children (and other family members) can stay close [physically] the stronger the entire familial unit becomes. And in societies where communities are made up of family infrastructures that establish direct ties to culture and religion, the importance of a stable family setup is critical in establishing a respect within that community. To boot, young adults in these Eastern familial structures are expected to contribute to the household; again effectively helping make it economically and logistically stronger. In many Middle-Eastern societies, there’s an inherent draw to the inter-connectivity generated by maintaining a family that encompasses and offers support to its grown children in their early adult lives. Such interaction and participation within each others lives, for these parents, seems to be a critical component in achieving a feeling of satisfaction in the way they’ve reared their child. Of course, for many, this also means replacing their individual goals, wants and dreams with the needs of the family. The pursuit of opportunities that positively, but selfishly affect their own lives is not one that most Mid-Eastern parents are eager to partake in, once children and family are in place. In this way, it seems the common Eastern familial thinking may veer into the realm of ‘sacrifice for the greater good of the family unit’, inadvertently setting up a cycle where personal ambitions are forfeited, by every subsequent generation.

So what can be learned by juxtaposing these two mentalities? Or perhaps even, reciprocating them; kind of like an episode of Wife Swap, but without the annoying wife, husband or whiny kids? Can we truly learn from each other: the West adopting the idea of familial support for children beyond the mere brink of adulthood in order to strengthen the family as a whole; and the East learning to allow room for growth, both for the young adults and that of the parents, as they continue to the next chapter of their lives?

What if the US would’ve embraced this Eastern mindset about family earlier in our history? Would it have helped during times like these, where so many young adults are out of work and finding no place to go? Or is the burden too great on parents – who might also be economically strangled themselves? Would it be better to consolidate resources, both financial and logistical – or is “fend for yourself” the way of the West, with no hope for change?

**A few notes: to be fair, I should add that of course not all Western or American families operate under the ‘out by 18′ governance. Again, economics plays a crucial part, whereby many children – in the West and the East – have to work elsewhere in order to help support a struggling family or parents that are elderly, ill or incapable of working. Also, this is by no means a commentary on what constitutes a family (ie. a mom and dad, two dads, two moms, an aunt and uncle, a single parent, etc). A family is a family is a family – in my mind – and again the actual composition of the people who make it up is certainly not in question. So as I make these observations of two worlds, both of which I know so intimately, I stress that generalizations are therefore, just that: general. Exceptions happily exist on both sides, and the beauty is in finding them.

So what did the crazy holidays help reveal to me? The value of a family structure that embraces the idea of taking care of your loved ones for as long as it is viably possible; not just monetarily, but establishing an infrastructure of support and maintaining the family unit within it – all without giving up personal goals and dreams, no matter what age – is immeasurable. Yet another difference between these remarkable two worlds that this eye is hoping can be bridged, and a balance struck through understanding, exchange and a little more eggnog.

*Reference: Economic History of the United States, History of US Economic Recessions

The Weasley Family At Egypt. Sort of. (I have no clue who the Weasleys are but they look like a fun bunch)

Change isn’t easy. In fact, it can be rather frightening. Throw in words like “Muslim Brotherhood” and conjuring up the image of a peaceful green meadow with Arab children democratically frolicking along, waving the American flag and singing songs of peace starts to be a bit of a challenge. Talk about a spooky reputation that precedes them – even if it might not be wholly accurate. The Muslim Brotherhood comes across to the US and others as the dark cousin at the family reunion who’s eerily standing in the corner of the room, eying the party. No one quite knows where they’ve been all these years, but that dirty Harley parked outside and those prison tattoos spell trouble. Plus they keep shoving their hands straight into the queso dip and that’s just disgusting.

Ok, so that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Especially since there’s a good chance that motor bikes and body ink aren’t quite the Brotherhood’s fortés. Still, solid information regarding their motives for a new Egypt isn’t being fully related to (or understood by) most of the world, even their own people. However, since their Freedom and Justice Party is undoubtedly gathering strength in Egypt’s parliament after recent wins in election rounds this month, it’s a force that is making serious headway in establishing a grounded presence in post-Mubarak Egypt.

What seems to be the consensus among the Western world is that the Brotherhood is a strict, Sharia-law driven group that will bring back the more conservative views of Islam upon a historically moderate Egypt. It seems that the liberal Western-minded revolutionaries that began the uprise really didn’t utilize their educational advantage by truly thinking through what groups might emerge after the removal of a longtime seeded ruler. Bad move rebels. The Brotherhood is here and the key to either working with them or working towards removing them is to clearly comprehend what they’re actually about.

God is our objective; the Quran is our constitution, the Prophet is our leader; Jihad is our way; and death for the sake of God is the highest of our aspirations.” That’s the credo of the Muslim Brotherhood – which, in all fairness, certainly does read as a rather stark and intimidating set of notions for any progressive Westernized thinker. Plus including the word “death” in your mission statement really doesn’t illicit warm fuzzy feelings. But get this: the Brotherhood is still considered less menacing by a vast majority of Egyptian voters than their competition for Parliamentary seats, the Salafist Nour Party, which is more openly violent and extreme in both political verbiage and action, as compared to the Brotherhood. The ironic thing is that the parties that represent the young modern reformers that famously rose up in Tahir Square, demanding a truly democratic change in Egyptian government are currently pulling a meek 13% in the first round of elections. So it seems at this point, a much more thorough understanding of the Muslim Brotherhood is definitely in order, especially since they will most likely be the next installment within the Egyptian government as the ruling party. Translation = it’s time for Egypt to be sat down and talked to about the latest addition to the family that the stork is bringing: a few new Brothers.

On December 9, 2011, Nicolas Kristof of the New York Times wrote about his personal experience with Muslim Brotherhood activists that I found rather revealing. He describes being exposed to a sort of enlightenment about misconceptions that have blanketed the Brotherhood’s caricature-like reputation across both the Westernized international community, as well as parts of Egypt itself. In his interactions with Sondos Asem, a 24-year-old middle-class graduate of the American University in Cairo who’s home he dined in, Kristof delved into the issues that commonly arise when speaking on Egypt’s civil unrest, and received rather interesting reactions from Asem and her family.

On The Oppression of Women:

Egypt has always been the cooler older sibling of the Mid-East when it came to women’s rights – although I certainly do use the word “cooler” here loosely. In comparison to more religiously rigid countries like Saudi Arabia, Iran and Afghanistan, where women are required to wear hijab and are forbidden to exercise many of even the simplest rights granted to men, Egypt has maintained a much less secure chokehold upon its women. My mother and other female relatives tell me stories of how, growing up in 1960′s and 70′s era Egypt, they donned super short mini skirts, wore tons of eye makeup and rocked out to The Beatles and Jimi Hendrix. Egypt was a country of liberated women under the beloved President Anwar Sadat, who in his time, changed Egypt’s socio-economic direction, among other things. Egypt actually had hippies, if you can believe it.

The Muslim Brotherhood has been thought by many Westerners to be associated with re-instituting the oppression of women – something that Asem strongly denied in her talk with Kristof. She explained that in addition to 50% of the Brotherhood being comprised of women, her own mother, Manal Abul Hassan is running for Parliament under the affiliation of the Brotherhood. Asem also asserts the same notion I referenced previously, that Egypt being religiously moderate is therefore incomparable to Saudi Arabia and the like. Rather, she says, Egypt should be compared to countries like Turkey, where amidst economic prosperity, an Islamic government reigns and where women are not objectified or mistreated, but are incorporated in government as vital participants.

Even the gruesome issue of female circumcision was brought up by Kristof, and Asem’s declaration of the Brotherhood’s stance on this topic was clear: the Brotherhood is against the barbaric practice of female genital mutilation. However, I gathered no further elaboration from Kristof’s interview with Asem on this particular subject, as the topic seemed to quickly shift to the Brotherhood’s views on economic policies and illiteracy – which Asem attributes to women’s real problems within Egyptian society. Suffice to say, the particular issue of genital mutilation was not one that Asem seemed to want to linger on for any length of time – which I found disconcerting since the unbelievably cruel practice is one that an immense number of Egyptian girls now commonly experience. I should note that the Mubarak administration – oddly enough – actually made some effort to stop this ridiculous custom. Go figure.

On Peace With Israel:

When Kristof approached this touchy subject with Asem, she dismissed it – along with the issue of alcohol consumption and wearing hijab – as policies that the Muslim Brotherhood do not plan on making any changes to. Claiming that creating jobs is the number one priority for the Brotherhood if it were to take over the Egyptian government, Asem explained that the country’s current economic disparity is what needs to be tackled immediately; and therefore the primary concern would be to reform the current economic system and eliminate the corruption that has reigned under Mubarak’s regime.

Even Kristof’s later interview with former foreign minister and Arab League secretary general Amr Moussa, was optimistic regarding the Brotherhood’s stance on continued peace with Israel: no matter what happens, Egypt will continue to nurture its good relations with the US and remain loyal to its peace treaty with Israel. When rebuilding a nation Moussa says, “You cannot conduct an adventurous foreign policy…We must have the best of relations with the United States.” If only Mr. Roger’s were still alive, I bet he’d invite them into the neighborhood. Well, maybe.

On Governing A Modern Economy:

Among the Brotherhood supporters and activists that Kristof spoke to, were liberal Egyptians who were a bit more skeptical of the Brotherhood’s motives – and ability to actually govern a modern Egypt. Many insisted that they [The Muslim Brotherhood] may exude a mild, peaceful demeanor now, but that there may be an intolerant streak that emerges later down the line. Talk about schizophrenia. Not to mention, many progressive Egyptians claim that the Brotherhood simply does not have the experience or political know-how to actually manage a modern Egyptian economy, with all the complexities that inherently emerge when any rebuilding of this magnitude takes place. What worries these modernists is that when push comes to shove, the Brotherhood will rely on Sharia-law or other rules of religion to make decisions that ultimately move the country back into the religiously conservative realm. It’s what tends to happen here in the US, when people aren’t quite sure how to handle things. Let’s just ask God.

What I truly reaped from Kristof’s intriguing experiences was that the Muslim Brotherhood is still a mystery to many – and as with most mysteries, it’s best to explore all the evidence, assemble all the clues and do all the research before declaring that Colonel Mustard must’ve done it in the library with the wrench. What the Brotherhood (and Salafists) did that was a politically ingenious maneuver to gain serious momentum in the elections: infiltrate the poorest, most uneducated portions of the Egyptian countryside and the like and convince those people – many times with bribes of food and money – that they are the best choice for a new Egypt. What did the progressive revolutionaries do to implant that same notion for their parties? Wait, they didn’t. Hence their current failure in gaining any sort of ground to compete with the Brotherhood. Which leaves us at…

Understanding the true nature of the Muslim Brotherhood is what is going to shed light on whether or not Egypt is moving towards a democratic, economically stable (and hopefully forward-thinking) society, or not. The idea of the Arab Spring in Egypt was to remove the corrupt, suffocating grip of a crooked regime and adopt a real working democracy. Let’s just hope – by trying to truly understand the entity that may be ruling – that the next wave of progress is done under the blanket of peace, fairness and clear thinking. After all, it took the United States of America a shade under a decade to get it right ourselves – the Constitution was written 7 years after the battle at Yorktown. When it comes to change, ‘scary’ really can be an understatement. But its an assumption that can be overturned by something much more potent: knowledge.

Coat of Arms of Egypt, Official version. Gover...

Egypt Coat of Arms Image via Wikipedia

Coolio and his twiggy braids would be proud. Real proud.

Now there’s a new place being dubbed the “concrete jungle”. And you’ll never guess where it is. Well, you might guess if you actually read the title of this article. So much for surprises. But for those of you who like to implement the whole “skimming-as-reading” method, it’s none other than the next “lil’ America” itself: good ole’ Iraq.

Not where you were thinking? Don’t feel too bad – you’re not alone. It wasn’t quite what I was expecting either, but – as it turns out – the US has left its mark in a big way, and the break dancing youth in Baghdad are living proof. That is, if you consider skull tattoos, body piercings and iPods playing 50-Cent the marks of the American Beast.

As December 31st draws nearer, so does President Obama’s order to withdrawal most of the troop forces stationed in Iraq; and one can’t help but wonder what the last 8 years of US presence has done to bridge the gap between the two cultures. It appears that the impression bestowed upon the nation’s young public is a boisterous mixture of an abundance of camouflage fashion (hot pink fatigues are the top choice for “blending in” to the desert surroundings), misspelled body art (Gangsta = GangStar, as the tattoo artist accidentally adds an “s” to one poor kid’s arm, no doubt forever-tarnishing his street cred), and – let’s not forget – the maniacal ‘Twilight‘ Edward vs. Jacob craze (that I should add, is about 2 installments behind). Is this sounding pretty American yet? It should.

“Punky” is what the Iraqi teens and 20-somethings are calling their newly adopted cultural movement, according to “Lil Czar” Mohammed, a 22-year-old rapper, and part-time teacher at a primary school in Baghdad. Mohammed was interviewed by the Associated Press, and along with other Iraqi young “hustlers” as they are calling themselves, was featured in the November 27th issue of the St. Petersburg Times. His baggy jeans (yes, they are indeed camouflage-print), NY cap (turned backwards of course) and nimbly-shaved head (with a $ etched into it) are all signs o’ the funky-fresh times that now reside in the midst of a country where almost half of the population is under the age of 19, according to former Senior Advisor to the US Embassy in Baghdad, Brett McGurk. And remember that tattoo I mentioned that was misspelled to read “GangStar“? That was Mohammed’s.

So it looks as though after all those years of observing US soldiers patrolling in their country, Iraqis are clinging to the machismo stylings of what they’ve come to consider “American”, including a pension for Ed Hardy-like hoodies, hip-hop & rap tracks and English slangy speech. Throw in Rollerblading stunts through hectic town traffic and heated breakdancing competitions in the parks, and you’ve got a virtual Little Brooklyn.

And even better, they’ve become rappers themselves; many of them incorporating lyrics that speak to their war-torn upbringing and hope for a better future. The “Iraq Rap” page on Facebook has almost 1500 fans.

Granted, none of this is sitting quite right with the parents and elders of these young Iraqis, but much like their American counterparts, the youth aren’t really letting that bother them.

According to Fawzia A. al-Attia, a sociologist at Baghdad University: “Teenagers, especially in poor areas where parents are of humble origin and humble education, started to adopt the negative aspects of the American society because they think that by imitating the Americans, they obtain a higher status in society.”

Al-Attia also claims that due to the unexpectedness of the young people’s openness, the country’s adults are not familiar with any sort of real strategy in which to handle the youth’s new-found rebellious voice. The rejection of school uniforms, forbidden love relationships and disrespect for elders has Iraqi parents, teachers and officials at a loss for control – and understanding – of this vital part of their society.

But oftentimes with the expression of something new, comes the edginess of defiance.

Another example of a feisty youth: tattoos and piercings. The tattoo industry is surprisingly booming now in Iraq; mostly due to young customers requesting coffins, skulls, snakes and dragons on various parts of their bodies – attempting to mimic the designs that they observed on US soldiers’. Even young women are donning butterflies and flowers on their shoulders as symbols of their adopted pro-Western philosophies. To boot, the tattoo parlors themselves now openly display advertisements of half-naked models on their storefronts baring examples of the body art available within. I can almost picture the jaws of the conservative older Muslim Iraqis as they scrap the floor in disgust and awe. The thought that’s no doubt running through their heads = “What the…?”. Ironically, it’s what a lot of American parents are also thinking about their own children. [ We're not so different now, are we? ]

And as for the young ladies of Iraqi, they’re apparently taking ‘hijab-chic’ to a whole new level, rocking tighter tops, form-fitting jeans and accessorizing with the all-too-popular American-girl must-have: a small dog in an oversized purse. (Paris Hilton, your influence is far more reaching than could have ever been imagined.)

Still, under the reign of Saddam Hussein (remember him?), where satellite television, the internet and cell phones were strictly monitored – and in many cases banned outright – these same young people were denied the exposure of such western cultural nuances, so it’s no wonder that the bottleneck buildup of defiance burst out to this inevitable result. Unfortunately, other more positive aspects of the American culture are not nearly as present within Iraq’s younger demographic.

High school student Maytham Karim is interested in learning English. Sadly, the only English he presently knows are the “F-words” and all related derivatives. (And as we habitual cursers know, there are quite a lot of ‘em). For these kids, most lessons in English end up coming from American music, specifically rap, which in most instances employs the more ‘colorful’ parts of our language, to say the least. Nonetheless, at most schools the lists to get into English classes are hefty with eager students and can be a months-long wait. The desire to be “more like Americans” is what fuels these young Iraqis to take what they see and hear in movies, music and online and translate it into a form of insurrection from their conservative, restrictive surroundings; which – let’s face it – isn’t such a bad thing.

Sound familiar? (wink, wink fellow Americans)

The take-away: American influence has seeped into the youth of a country whose next generation is still grappling with its identity. As much as the need for more positive aspects of US life is necessary to balance their understanding of what it is to be American, Young Iraq is still making a sort of headway into a new and unexplored frontier for their next step: life without US occupation. Here’s wishing them luck.

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness“, a cherished phrase outlined in our Declaration of Independence is markedly and universally regarded as the essence of the basic rights afforded to each American. Plus there’s no denying that it rolls off the tongue ever so nicely.

In the US, it seems that while these three simple staples are inherently part of our culture, along with them, another fight is underway: to get more money for the hardworking American and to demand more accountability for those in power. The current Occupy Wall Street movement (and other Occupations throughout the country) are prime examples of how the American people are decidedly taking the Declaration’s most memorable phrase and manifesting it into their own destinies. The cry is pressing; government needs to be held liable for our current economic condition.

Across the pond, however, with the rise of what is being dubbed The Arab Spring, it seems that people are fighting too, but for things that the US luckily already has: basic human rights and a stable democratic government. With the ousting of Egypt‘s Mubarak, Libya’s Gaddafi, and the countless other civil uprisings all over the Middle East and Northern Africa, the people are finally speaking – and it’s louder and clearer than ever before. Nevermind a raise in wages or an explanation for why the mortgage bubble burst; they just want to be able to live under relatively peaceful conditions as human beings without fear of being beheaded or stoned. Doesn’t seem like too much to ask.

Still, what makes this time in our global environment most interesting is how similar these movements actually are in their fundamental purposes – even though they are so very different in their cultural foundations.

The US government has long been in bed with Wall Street, Big Business and the richest 1% of the population. There’s no secret there. And the Arab governments have long been in bed with the US, with much of their military and weapons-funding funneled directly through countless US administrations (both Dems & Reps are guilty on this one). So what we essentially have is this:  a governmental gang-bang with the “Do Not Disturb” sign indiscreetly hanging outside the door while both the American and Arab people wait outside with housekeeping.

Obama Administration: Arab People, You Deserve Better! American People, .. Uh… Sorry, We Got Nothin.

Baffling still is the unrelenting endorsement for the Arab uprising by the current US administration; an unwavering support for the military to step aside in countries like Egypt – allowing the people to put in place their own civilian-run government via a fair, democratic electoral process. Not to mention, another manipulable US ally in this unstable region wouldn’t be too shabby of a by-product. The US government’s consensus: hooray for the Arab Spring!

Conversely, the same US administration is producing an all but mute stance on the OWS movements that are taking place in their own back yards. No real response or tangible explanations are being offered to the American people, and the protesting is largely being ignored by top administrators. (coyly saying “we’re working on it” doesn’t really count either). Any response that’s not a muddled, ambiguous retort is one of complete cynicism. GOP candidates like the smug Newt Gingrich even go so far as to criticize the Occupy protestors by saying to “go get a job right after you take a bath”. Ah, eloquent words indeed. Especially coming from one of the dirtiest, corrupt hypocrites in all of US governmental history.
The fact is, no administrative support is going towards the uprisings that are occurring here in the US, but plenty of support is being ushered towards the Arab people who are rallying with a similar volume. Which brings me to:

So Egypt, Where’d You Get All That Tear Gas? Oh, Wait…

As Egypt’s unrest continues to swell, and more protestors are killed or injured by military forces and riot police, the question inevitably arises: where did all the tear gas, rubber bullets and nerve gas even come from?

Surprise, surprise. And by “surprise”, I mean “totally not a surprise”.

As much as the US claims that it supports the Arab Spring, and uprisings like that in Egypt, one wonders how the weapons being used against the very people who the US government is supporting are the same ones graciously supplied to the corrupt governments that the US actually helped put in place? Deep is the rabbit hole, indeed.

The simplified analysis here would be that, foreseeing the reality that Egyptian people have simply had enough, the best move for America would be to align itself with the winning side. It’s not just smart politics, it’s a safety mechanism the US has learned to utilize all-too-well over the years. So while Mubarak and Gaddafi were once very close US allies, now that their incredible unpopularity among their own people has removed them, best for the US to denounce these jokers and cuddle up with whomever’s next. In many cases with the Arab Spring, this means a civilian-installed leadership; most likely un-akin to what the US is used to dealing with. So good luck there.

But What About Here At Home?

As an Arab, I am extremely happy to see the tangible overturning of unethical Middle Eastern governments (aka dictatorships/tyrannies) and witness the people finally taking matters into their own hands – however dangerous the obstacles may be. There are generations of depravity to make up for, and so it will no doubt take just as long to establish something new and better; but there is a unified voice finally being heard, and that’s something that’s indeed long over-due.

But as an American, I am extremely disappointed that this same gusto for change hasn’t resulted in a more productive governmental transformation here; one that truly brings into question practices that are inherently damaging those three vital pieces of what we’ve collectively come to call our rights as Americans and that are outlined in our precious Declaration. If we are truly to set an example of how freedom of speech, peaceful demonstrations, and the right to organize are core principles that we wholly stand by, then we’d better start showing off our stuff right here at home. The spotlight is on and all that’s audible is the sound of crickets.

What are becoming evident now more than ever, especially through these movements, are the similarities shared between Americans and Arabs – revealing just how much of a cultural bridge exists between both worlds at the most elemental level. We are all in a similar pursuit: that of happiness.

This. Is. Ridiculous.

US Congress rules that pizza is a vegetable · TheJournal.

And to add insult to injury, our American tax dollars are actually going towards this massive waste of time. No, no – by all means – there’s no need to worry about our economy, healthcare or education; let’s just concentrate on getting this pizza thing worked out. Priorities, people.

It’s great to know that our lawmakers are spending valuable resources on such critical issues – now if they’d only teach their counterparts on the other side of the world:

The upside: at least GOP candidate and Pizza Godfather, Herman Cain can confidently claim knowledge on this subject. Should make up for his lack of knowledge on Libya, Cuba and, well…everything else.

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